Saying sorry is paramount in having a healthy relationship. There are so many people who find saying this word very hard. People presume that saying sorry equals an “I was guilty” verdict. It doesn’t! Saying sorry means “I am responsible”. Saying sorry is so much more than that. Saying sorry means you genuinely care for the other person and let’s them know that they matter to you.
Reflect on your last disagreement with your partner or another significant relationship. How did you react? ….How did they react? …How are you feeling about it now? …What are you hanging onto from the disagreement? …Are you proud of how you handled things? …Do you wish you’d acted, or said something differently? …Chances are these questions are bringing up some emotions for you. You may be feeling angry, guilty, remorseful, blaming, self righteous, etc. Or maybe you don’t want to admit your role in how things panned out. When you stay in these emotions or thinking patterns, saying sorry becomes hard.
If you can, step back and look at things from another perspective. How do you think the other person was feeling? ….How might they be feeling now? …If you could change something about how you handled things, what would that be?….
Now, let all that thinking stuff go…
Take some nice slow breaths, letting all that tension float away. Staying nice and relaxed and focusing on your breath in and out. Connect with the love in your heart, it may help to think of something or someone you love dearly. Just stay in that space, while continuing to breathe. Allow the beautiful feelings of that love grow with each breath, connecting with it more and more.
If you’re not already, think of the person you had the disagreement with. Feel the love you have deep inside for them, let any thoughts float away, just connect with the love. With each breath in and out letting the love expand and grow, feeling stronger and stronger. You may have a tear or two, that’s ok. Just allow the feeling to surface as you continue to allow the feeling of love to envelope you gently….
When you are ready, still feeling the love and bringing it with you, take some deep breaths and gently bringing your awareness back to where you are now. If you want to, saying sorry will be so much easier now.
With love & gratitude, Julie